office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
