If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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