They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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