You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
