I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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