Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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