Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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