I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
