Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
