She is in my trunk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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