my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
