you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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