This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I looked at my own cervix.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
