I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
