Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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