I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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