another moral hangover. fuck.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Blood and glitter go together right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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