Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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