Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
