Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
