I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
