I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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