p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
