I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
