420 ftw
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
