Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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