so explain again why im purple
no
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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