...so i touched it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
