I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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