Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
