hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
