dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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