I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
