we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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