Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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