Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
