In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
