She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
