Come see our sink grown plant.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
try to milk me bitch
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
