Can Purell be used as lube?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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