Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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