smell my finger.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
