oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
