I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
