I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
