Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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