I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
