Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
