Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
