Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just had sex on a roof
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
