Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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