I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
