we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who died my cat blue again?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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