Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
