What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
