I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
