Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
