I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
